This is the 3rd time I tried to post this.
So before I tell you what happened tonight,I am doing a test to see if this works yet.
Long story short.
I was stalked tonight at the town store by a guy that at one time raped a little girl in my front yard after I moved out of that house.
He moved to my town shortly after I moved from my old house. He found out 9 years ago that I had a small ladies beauty salon in town and he loitered around the shop.One day I was alone at the shop and he came in and after a few mins of hanging around and breathing too close to me-like down my neck. I told him I wanted him to leave. He didn't listen so I told him I was closing shop early and had to go. I turned my back to shut off my open sign. Upon turning around he grabbed me and started to hug me. I pushed him off and ran out the door-telling him to leave now. Then I called the police . They issued him a citation of some sort -telling him he could not go back to my place of business.
Since then I have seen him around town when I would shop. Always the same thing. Creepy and staring at my chest. Wanting to hug me,so he can cop a feel.
Tonight I was greeted by him right after I parked my truck at the store. It's like he comes out of no where. He said hi-I stupidly said hi back. Very dumb of me-I shoudl have said "leave me alone".
Anyways I continued into the store.....
he followed me for a few mins. Then I seen him check out. I had my back to him,as I thought he would leave the store now. Out of the corner of my eye -I seen him waiting for me . I decided to lead him on a goose chase around the store. He followed me down every isle. Finally he said "Can I help you find something". I told him no and that I was leaving now. He walked through the checkout line ,telling the girls he had already paid and was just leaving . I said out load in front of everyone and loud enough for him to hear me,"YEAH HE'S DONE CHECKING OUT,NOW HE'S JUST STALKING ME".
The nervous and niave checkout girl said"At least someone likes you."
I was very stern with her and told her -no that guy is a creep.
I figured he would be outside waiting for me. So I went to the opposite door in which he would expect me to come out of. I watched out the store window for him. I observed him circling my truck!
That made me angry ,so I got the store manager to follow me out.........
When we got out to my truck, I barely got the words"I don't see him" out of my mouth before I observed him come flying out from behind the garden center trees that were for sale. I told the manager"There he is!"
I told my escort that I was picking up the pace and we fast walked. The creep was there before I got my truck started. I swerved around the creep and in the process lost half my groceries.
My question to anyone here-what kind of self defense course would you recommend?
I am a woman.
It was 5 yrs ago not 9 when creepy guy came to my shop. sorry my bad
read this book:
I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Account of Stalking and Obsessive Love
by Doreen Orion
i read it when it was a new book.
there are truly different types of stalkers, possibly.
if you tell someone to leave you alone, and they don't, then maybe they are the psychotic erotomaniac type, which usually only stalk one single person. other types of predators go for almost anyone.
or, possibly some person has bad luck meeting somebody and doesn't quite know how to be socially correct. i would think that type would get the hint if told once to get lost. but possibly they may, in their own mind, think you really love them, if only you gave them a chance.
self defense may well be needed, but some losers are basically harmless.
some people need to learn that nobody wants them, and they should learn to live with it.
Erotomania can be defined as a psychological disorder in which the afflicted relentlessly pursues the notion that the object of his/her affection reciprocates his/her romantic feelings and/or fantasies. This obsession with the desired individual continues long after that individual has asserted that he/she is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with the afflicted. Consequently, erotomaniacs tend to stalk their victims. It has been postulated that those who stalk suffer from a basic fault in their capacity to have relationships with others. (Lipson et al., 1998). Though brought to light with the Tarasoff case, Erotomania continues to be considerably new in the literature and consequently little research has been done to suggest any consistent hypothesis as to causality. Characteristic of the erotomaniac (generally across the board) are the following: irrationality, a tendancy toward impulsive actions, obsessiveness, paranoia, psychotic tendancies. Typically the erotomaniac shares certain behavioral characteristics consistent with that of a Borderline. The erotomaniac tends to begin with simple, subtle expressions of affection to reach the object of his/her desire which later spirals out of control and can lead to expressions of anger, rage, frusteration and violence when such gestures go ignored and the victims continues to assert lack of interest. Strangely the erotomaniac fails altogether to see the victim's lack of interest. The erotomaniac attributes lack of positive response to a littany of things. In the case of my stalker, Louise attributed her ex-husband (my boyfriend) taking a restraining order out against her to a belief that somehow I was behind the scenes manipulating him to do so in order to keep him from "recognizing his love for her" and "going back to her". Louise also wrote constant letters saying she knew I "had to be pregnant" because she didn't know why else he wouldn't be returning her calls and answering her threatening letters. Finally, the erotomaniac is psychotic and no longer in reality. Any reaction from the victim can be construed as a signal of approval. Returning to the case of my stalker, Louise believed the act of my boyfriend taking a restraining order out against her was somehow indicative of encouragement to continue to call and visit him and so she did continue, persisting even after countless arraignments, community service and jail time.
Thank you both, sorry I got off the subject of Jodi but I was so upset I had to vent.
I will be reading what you recommended and given the fact that I am worried about more then just this creep,I plan on taking a defense course.
My husband is a nice guy but he also played the"maybe you shouldn't wear shorts lecture".
Yeah like the little girl he raped yrs ago was probably at fault because her knickers were too short. (rolling eyes) although I think he knew he sounded stupid when he said it. Stereotypical .
LOL never mind, apparently according to my husband -it just might be my fault a former child rapist wants me. Yep, It's my fault. I wear...hold on here....shorts! Gasp!
Good night dear people of the findjodi.com forum.
I'll get back to Jodi next time. Poor girl..I know how she feels.
Bounty Hunter, I am going to take you seriously....
You have a problem on your hands. Someone stalking you is not your fault. It doesn't matter what you wear; this has nothing to do with it. The stalker has a "illness."
1) Yes, by all means take a self defense class...and a good one; one where you really learn how to defend yourself. Become good at it.
2) Do you have a cell phone with camera? Videotape all of the stalking incidents for evidence.
3) NEVER respond to him. Ignore him as if he wasn't there. You need to remove yourself from his circle. Think of yourself within his circle now and that you are slowly removing yourself away emotionally farther and farther.
4) Talk to the police about getting a restraining order against him.
Good Luck and hang in there.
Is there a chance you and your husband can move away?
Thanks everyone. I'll be ok. The guy don't know where I live now. I just have to watch myself when I'm in town. That's when I see him. I'm getting some advice about which defense course to take. It looks like they recommend dirty fighting. So I did get mace yesterday and called police too. I feel better but I feel real bad that I was emotional and stepped on Jodis story by posting my little problem on here. Sorry I won't do that again.It's been great talking to all you nice people.
Just thought I would give you all an update. My friend contacted me to tell me she read in the paper the other day that my stalker guy had died a week ago. Don't know what from but my problem is over. Now onto other problems eh?
I have been re routed to other pressing obligations and have no more time available to help here. Good luck and may you all find the truth,because sometimes it's hidden in plain site. Other times it's not something you would really want to know anyway.
I am S.A.P.C.I.F.A.
Good Luck everyone!;)
Oh sorry I forgot to tell you what S.A.P.C.I.F.A. IS-It's a name I made up for what I do in my spare time.
Just for fun.;)
anyone else feel Bounty Hunter is fake, or the very least, strange?
Yes, I've thought that for quite some time - very self-concerned and not too astute for someone who claims to be looking out for others and helping solve crimes
We all need to take a look at the personalities surrounding Jodi - and yes, probably even a little ways back...predators aren't usually impulsive; they have fake exteriors, so nobody would suspect them...I think whoever dunnit is still "lurking" in the shadows.
I am a big believer in transformation of energy...what goes around comes around...
I have been following findjodi for a few years...i have always sensed that her life was silenced in the parking lot that morning...whether it was intentional at that point is probably (in my mind) unlikely.
This case may be cold, but people have to keep speculating...the biggest thing I want to know is why all of her so-called "friends" in Iowa seem to have abandoned this cause.
Exactly Observer, where are all her friends.
Humm-odd way to say goodbye to me. Well, I can assure you both that Gary -the Cat and also Scott has checked me out and they can confirm I am NO FAKE. Just ask them.
Observer, I too am a firm believer in what come around goes around -but what does that have to do with me saying goodbye?What does that have to do with me ?
I am moving today and when I came on here to say goodbye -I get this response.
If you would all go back and read my threads and posts -you would see I was trying to help. One thread about "never underestimate your stalker" does not equate to the response I got from both of you.
You want to help Jodi?---- then get back to work and stop with the personal attacks.
I have to go pack the moving van-I wont be back to bother the both of you-I am not the threat you make me out to be .
I responded to one comment Observer made about Jodi's friends, I wasn't knocking you in anyway. Sorry if it sounded that way, it wasn't my intent. Come back, Jodie is still out there, all ideas are welcome. If everyone posted comments who reads these posts maybe we could figure something out, being that's not the case I would not knock anyone who tries to add to the discussion.
Oh I didn't mean my post to you Vinny. I meant it in response to the two who said "sick of bounty hunter and that I am fake. To Observer for the odd way they conducted themselves to.
I knew you meant no harm with your statement. Despite what the other 2 say -I am astute.
But no I'm leaving this all behind.
Kinda like when a person gets threatened-they just want out of it. Ya know.
Just leaving it all behind.
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